Creating Distance
In my last blog I wrote about why we need to learn how to identify and close the gap. There is the distance gap which is the space between where we are (point A) and where we want to be (point b). We need to learn how to effectively close this gap if we want to grow. There is also 8 prevention gaps which prevent us from moving forward for various reasons. It is important to identify which prevention gap we tend to get stuck in and learn to effectively close it. If we don’t deal with the prevention gap we can never close the distance gap.
In relationship to jiu-jitsu, I mentioned how in jiu-jitsu we believe that he who manages the distance, manages the damage. There are only 2 places you want to be as a jiu-jitsu fighter
Too far away to get hurt. Which basically means you are just out of reach.
In too close to get hurt. Which means you are Clinching in some fashion.
In order to transition from Point A (being out of reach), to point B (The Clinch), you have to learn to safely & effectively “Close the gap”. Likewise, when you are Clinching you have to learn to safely & effectively create distance when necessary. The gap is the space we never want to remain in.
The gap is a vulnerable space that is necessary to enter when working toward our goals but it is not meant to be the place we remain constantly. We move in and out of the gap in order to remain too far away or too close.
Sometimes when we are trying to close the gap, we get resistance. This resistance can sometimes just be an obstacle in closing the gap or it can be a space we will never break though. If that’s the case, we are likely to get badly hurt if we remain there. In this situation, we may need to create distance.
There may be relationships in your life that you are trying to close the gap on. You are trying to mend them and pursue them but you are not being let in. You are being hurt by the other party and if you stay there, you are risking serious injury whether it be physical, mental or emotional.
If this is the case, you need to create distance or “Boundaries” in this relationship.
Create enough distance so that you can not be hurt by this person anymore. That distance can be different for everyone.
Maybe you have an addiction of sorts. Cigarettes, alcohol, pornography, sugar, social media…this list can go on and on.
Anything in your life that you have trouble resisting, you become a slave to. You need to create distance from these things as they drastically hinder your growth and health.
The game plan for creating distance is going to look different depending on what it is you are creating distance from, but you have to come up with a plan and some support or accountability.
While it is crucial to our growth that we learn to close the gap, it is often just as crucial that we learn to create distance and boundaries when it is necessary. Moving forward is NOT always the best option.
Rener Gracie, a famous jiu-jitsu Instructor, speaks about the Punch Power Scale. The scale varies from 1-10. Level one punches do the least amount of damage. They are not anything to even be concerned about. Level Ten being the punches that can do serious harm. The factor that determines the level you are being hit with is the distance. Remember, we want to either be in too close to get hurt or too far away. The gap in the middle is level 10. If you manage the distance well, you manage the damage.